In Case No One Has Ever Told You Before:

In Case No One Has Ever Told You Before:

    Photo by: Sheridan Dyches

In case no one has ever told you before, you are worth it. 

Sometimes life can be a little tricky. And during those tricky times we tend to find ourselves doubting everything we are doing and everything we have worked for, questioning if it is all worth it. And sometimes we get to the point where we even find ourselves questioning if we are even worth it.

Well you are. You are worth it. Everything and anything you do is worth it. I believe that there is a reason behind everything, and there is a reason why you are here.

Worth is a funny thing. Why do we think so poorly of ourselves sometimes? We are great. We are awesome. We should be proud.

We have the tendency to undermine our worth by comparing ourselves to each other. Well we shouldn't. Our differences are what makes us each so special and unique. We tend to set our goals by what other people think is important. Well we shouldn't. Only we know what is best for us. We tend to create this unrealistic vision of how life is supposed to play out. Well we shouldn’t. Live in the moment and let the future come.

Worth is not justified by an external factor. Why is it that we depend on someone else to make us happy? Why do we go seeking for another person to make us feel good about ourselves? What if that person leaves? Then what are you going to do?

Worth and happiness comes from within. You are in control. And the sooner you realize that, the sooner you will find yourself waking up everyday with a lighter mind and a sense of clarity.

What I learned was that NO ONE can pull you out from under the dark. You have to do the dirty work yourself. You have to pull yourself out and see yourself for the amazing human being that you are. It's all in your mind. Remove the negativity. Stop pushing away the good. And keep moving forward.

You will be amazed at all that you can do once you begin to believe in yourself. There is no risk in giving yourself a chance.

Remember: “It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.”

You are deserving of your dreams. Your voice deserves to be heard. You don't need to impress anyone but yourself. Embrace your talents. Believe in your path. Take your time. Surround yourself with positivity and inspiring influences. Find what you love and run with it. Find what makes you feel good. Laugh. Surround yourself with the company that you need. And don't let anyone ever tell you, that you aren't good enough.

I know it is easier said than done, but I was once stuck in this dark, gray cloud where I didn't see a purpose for living. I didn't see a purpose to anything I was doing. I too, questioned my worth. I shut down. I hid from life. And I didn't want to be apart of it.

And now I cannot believe how much I've missed out on living and loving life. I can't go back and redeem the days I have wasted and neither can you, but we can sure as well make sure that every waking day from now on that we know that we are worth it. 

Know That I Am Here

Know That I Am Here

            Photo by: Kate Opre 

Talk to me. I don’t care if its 1 a.m., 2 a.m., or 3 a.m., if you stressed, talk to me. If you are having bad thoughts, talk to me. If you need clarification, talk to me. If you are overthinking, talk to me. I want to talk to you. Whether you are sad, happy, curious, worried, confused, down, I want to talk to you, even if we have nothing to talk about it.

If it’s midnight and you are feeling restless, antsy and you need fresh air, let’s go for a drive. Let’s jam to our favorite songs and scream the lyrics at the top of our lungs all the way until we become exhausted. Till our eyes turn red. Let’s cruise down random streets with no destination. Let’s roll down the windows and become one with the night air.

Tell me. Tell me your exciting news. Tell me how your day went, the highs and the lows. Tell me what upsets you. Tell me your doubts. Tell me your desires. Tell me your fears. Tell me your stories. Tell me everything and anything, even if it’s nothing.

I want to listen. I want to listen to you rant about your horrible day and help you find the positive in it. I want to listen to you babble on about something that sets a spark in your eyes. I want to listen to you carry on about how much you love, love. I want to listen to you laughing about the silliest things you find hysterically funny. I want to listen, even if I’m hearing nothing.

Share with me. Share with me your mind, your passions, and your dreams. Share with me your goals, plans, and your perspective on the world. Share with me your wildest imaginations and darkest secrets.

Show me. Show me your happy place. Show me what you are good at. Show me what you are bad at. Show me your obsessions, your guilty pleasures, and your hidden talents.

Let me be your sanity. Let me be your go-to. Let me be your shoulder.

Know that I am here. All you have to do is talk to me.

The Price of Passion | A Poem About Creative Careers

The Price of Passion | A Poem About Creative Careers

Photo by Paolo Raeli

my father sits me down during dinner

his gaunt face blankly staring at me

he reminds me of

the bleak, penniless life of a writer

I no longer want to eat

my grandmother and I are having tea

her warm smile can cure any heartache

she tells me one of her stories about life in China

this one is about a past love

suddenly

she suggests more “practical” jobs
I could pursue

she is no longer smiling

my mother

who despises her job

laughs

“You’re eating now
but what about when you have no money left?"

all I see though are long nights
at the office
my eyes strained from the harsh, bright lights
stiff from hours at a cubicle
forcing myself to live for the sake of a wage
life does not move with
my heartbeat
but a paycheck
love comes in dollar bills
sanity is a small price to pay

I’m sorry that my heart swells with passion
that my chest beams with courage
I don’t cry the tears of
my mother
my father
my peers
who have never tasted fulfillment
but of a storyteller whose tongue
is coated with the purest of love
my income is my breath
words are my heartbeat
and I am ready to live

Why Are We Fighting About Food?

Why Are We Fighting About Food?

Editorial by Brindy Francis

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Photo from Tumblr 

It’s Friday night. You decided to have all your friends over to watch the season finale of Stranger Things on Netflix. On your way home from work, you stop by Trader Joe’s to pick up some chips and dips and such. You remembered that Haley is vegan, so you pick up only vegan things so that everyone can eat and enjoy themselves! But wait, Johnny the meat eater doesn’t want any “rabbit food.” Crap. Now Haley the vegan is trying to throw environmental facts down meat-eater Johnny’s throat. It is now a riot.

Okay, but here’s the thing. Nobody cares what you eat. Nobody cares that you think vegans are stupid. Nobody cares that you think meat eaters are stupid. Nobody cares if you only eat fish, egg whites, or only the stem of broccoli. I’m not saying I’m going to support you for eating meat necessarily (I, myself, am a vegetarian), but I will defend your right to eat whatever you want.

Don’t get me wrong, I love hearing facts about how veganism can help us environmentally and health-wise and how it is saving our rainforests. I like hearing your stance on everything, but not everyone is going to. Just like the party situation, it can turn into a riot. I’m sure everyone could be interested in a nice conversation about it, but becoming defensive will not help your case. You’re here to have a good time! Let’s simmer down.

I’ve gotten comments my whole life being an off and on vegetarian. Every family event, I am questioned why I eat the way I do. I just inform them that it is my choice. Now, with veganism growing month after month, meat-eaters are looked down upon in youth. It does not have to be that way. People are not understanding that someone’s lifestyle is not going to affect them.

Whether you eat meat and dairy or not has been the big topic of discussion in the past year or so. The documentary Cowspiracy, directed and produced by Kip Andersen in 2014, really got people going. Animal cruelty was recognized, which is fantastic, but now everyone is expected to take that information and do something intense with it, such as change your diet and/or products completely. Something not understood is that it’s not as easy as everyone thinks it is, especially when someone is under harsh living conditions. Some people just flat out do not care about the movement at all. Does that mean they need to be shunned?

Having views is an absolutely wonderful thing, but you need to question whether it is really something worth feuding about. In no way do I want to advise you to not fight for what you believe in. If someone is being unreasonable about it, by all means, put them in their place. The point of this read is to bring peace to the situation. Yes, you have the right to speak whatever comes to mind, but you don’t have to be an asshole about it.

Progress, Not Perfection

Progress, Not Perfection

Photo by Willow Greene

If you are anything like me, you focus more on the outcome of things rather than the process of reaching the result. I typically strive for perfection in everything I do, especially in my writing because sometimes I am extremely self-conscious about it. Even if I am writing a rough draft, I have to make sure the grammar, structure, spelling, etc. is in order, otherwise I will start over. Lately, however, I have been learning that perfection should come second to progress. Like I mentioned in one of my previous articles, I think it is important to embrace change and try new things. And from process, that is usually the result. 

With a new school year beginning and stress levels on the rise, I easily get lost in the outcome of all things. Sometimes it is good to step back and take a look at the bigger picture, but I try to remind myself to also take life day by day instead of getting caught up in the stress of what is to come in a year from now. Between taking deep breaths and counting to ten, it is difficult not to get distracted by the result rather than the progress. It is discouraging when the result is not what you were hoping. Even if it is slightly off, the whole plan can be ruined.

So, I compiled a few reasons for why we strive for perfection and I came up with a these three possibilities: 1. We want to prove our worth; 2. We feel pressured by external forces (like friends, family, or mentors), or; 3. We honestly want to improve our abilities. For the most part, these are healthy reasons. All three are incentives to better ourselves. But when we allow them to shadow over the learning and growth that emerges from process, we are not understanding the full experience of what reaching goals should be about. It is not what you reap that defines you, but rather the strength, determination, passion, and attitude that shines through from the midst of your core.

We do not give ourselves enough credit for accomplishing “simple” tasks, whether that is completing an extra two miles in your weekly run or if you picked up jogging as a hobby only this morning. Putting ourselves down may seem modest and polite, but in the long run, we are sabotaging our confidence, which makes reaching “perfection” an even tougher challenge. We all have differing ideas of what “perfection” is, so why does such a concept exist if we cannot agree on a definition? Perfection is a part of our imagination, and our imagination stops at the border of reality. 

For the rest of the week, month, and year, continue to pursue your best self, but remember that the learning and growth that unfolds during the process of something is just as crucial to the outcome as the result itself.

Generation Z: In Grayscale

Generation Z: In Grayscale

In the past few years, the American LGBT+ community has been through ground breaking accomplishments such as same sex marriage equality, withdrawal of “Don’t ask, don’t tell”, and many other strides in visibility and acceptance. Though the fight for equality is very very far from over, the community has changed in extremes and being a part of generation Z, we’ve been in the frontlines watching these large milestones happen. As LGBT+ acceptance grows and fits in more and more with norms, the introduction and visibility of less of the black and white identities have been shown and are slowly fitting their way in modern day media.

Born in 1999, I grew up with very black and white ideas of things. You’re either a boy or a girl, gay or straight, etc. However, as I aged and become more comfortable questioning myself, I began to realize this isn’t really the case. Though the ever so famous pride flag is known for it’s ROYGBIV stripes, there’s actually so many other ways one can (or not at all) label themselves that isn’t a “color” on the spectrum. As we progress and the idea of not being straight or your assigned at birth gender becomes more and more normalized, so is the beginning of a more expressive and self aware society.

Generation Z is a group that has been born into a world of so many advancements. Most of us can’t remember life without a computer or cell phone or how to get anywhere without Google Maps. The creation of the internet and our generation’s attraction to it has also made us so much more questioning of our identities than any other previous generation. Instead of having to stick to the norms of our outside environments, we can easily connect with about anyone who brings a completely new set of ideas and interests, making information travel so much faster. Though nonbinary, pansexual, asexual, etc people obviously existed long before our iPhones did, social media and online publications have made these identities so much more visible and accessable to learn about. It’s hard to be unaware when you’ve got about every resource out there at the typing of a google search.

So why are so many of the teenagers of generation Z living in this “grayscale” of sexuality? How did we find these rather invisible and not quite accepted identifiers?

“I’m incredibly fluid when it comes to my gender and don’t feel acceptance of either the male or female ideas and roles.” says Alex,16.

As Kira,17, stated, “I have never felt like a boy but didn’t associate myself with being female. I had no idea what non binary meant until last year, but have always been so. I think it’s all about exposure. Just like so many people in history have been closeted gays or trans people, non binary isn’t a new thing. It’s just now more common and ‘out there”. These points on the spectrum have always been there, just now they are receiving more attention and exposure. As the citizens of generation Z grow older, I predict there will definitely be a decline in the need to label oneself or try and fit in with one of the classic ROYGBIV areas of the spectrum.

Skin: A Poem On Self-Love

Skin: A Poem On Self-Love

Photo by Paolo Raeli

my mother never told me

that the person who would tear me down

would be myself

yet there I was

young and impressionable

I was no warm sunset

but skin

as I gazed upon my thighs with disgust

picked and prodded at my stomach

my spirit shrank

self-loathing slogans were my bedtime stories

and the endings always left my sullen cheeks

stained with tears

I was not radiant or capable or intelligent

but skin

when one of my friends told me that I was not beautiful

I almost believed her

my first act of self-love was leaving her

as she scrutinized the size of my waist

I told her, "I'm sorry, but I am more than just

skin."

do not tell me that I take up too much space

do not tell me that I am ugly

do not tell me that I will never please a man

when I was younger

I regarded my body

what allows me

to create

to learn

to love

with hatred

now, as I look at my body

the question is no longer

how can I become thinner

but

how could I have ever seen myself as simply

skin

The Nuclear Family

The Nuclear Family

It's strange to think that this time last year, going far, far, away was all I wanted. Now all I want is to go back.

I started a semester away program this week hundreds of miles away from my family, my friends, my house, my dogs, my bed, and anything at all familiar. While the experience I'm having here is so exciting and eye-opening, while all the people here are kind and funny and unbelievably smart, there's something in me that overwhelmingly aches for home.

Shouldn't I be feeling liberated, free, finally grown? No parents in sight, no squabbling with sisters, no getting scolded for not emptying the dishwasher or taking out the trash. No little passive aggressive comments over the dinner table, no fights about aforementioned little comments. When I'm at home, my family drives me insane. Like, off the walls insane. But tonight I realized I would probably give everything up to be with them right now.

Family is a funny thing. You have to learn to accept that you don't get along and still love each other. If you had friends like that, they wouldn't last very long. But blood is blood, and as long as the bad doesn't become the extremely bad, you put up with it.

I realized the other day that the day of summer that I remember the most fondly is my last day of summer. I spent the entire waking day, or 10 hours of it, in a small car with my family on the way to my new school. It started out pretty alright-- my sister and I watched Pride and Prejudice, as she had just finished the book for the first time. Eventually tensions rose as we stopped at a rest stop for a fast food lunch and my mom and sister began critiquing and discussing the unpleasantries of pre-prepared fast food as I tried to eat my lunch. 

Of course, once back in the car, my sister spilled her orange soda all over my already hot and sticky body and my seat. I screamed at her as I looked for wet wipes to mop up the sickly sweet mess. "You're the WORST" I declared. I don't remember her response. It was definitely equally as unkind.

The car went silent for a few hours as we drove through suburban Pennsylvania. I watched the final episodes of Stranger Things on my iPhone and listened to my favorite 80s synth playlist while gazing out at the passing parking lots and fields, trying to ignore my family's chatter that my earbuds couldn't block out.

As we got closer to my destination, my mom asked me for about the fourth time that car ride how to search her email inbox. Frustrated after telling her over and over, I snatched the phone and aggressively showed her how. "You don't have to be so rude!" she snapped. 10 hours in a confined space had done its work.

But that's the day I remember most, and feel most nostalgic for. I guess that sums up family-- you fight, you hate them, you're annoyed by them, and you love them and miss them like crazy when they're not there to bother you.

I've called or FaceTimed my family every day I've been here, and there have been no unkind words. I'm sure that will change when I go home in 3 months, but I'd rather be near them while they scold me than listen to their niceties with my phone pressed against my ear, miles away from them. But whenever I get a little too homesick, I just remember my sister spilling her Fanta on me and refusing to apologize. And that helps just the littlest bit.

Consent: and Why Media Hates Intoxicated Women

Consent: and Why Media Hates Intoxicated Women

As I begin to talk about consent, I realize how hard it is to possibly cover everything that the verbal “yes” can mean, as there are so many bases it has become misconstrued in. Before writing this piece, I made a list for myself to refer back to of all the things consent is in fact, not, and how media tends to look the other way towards it and saw quite a large trend of one factor: intoxication. The instant drugs and/or alcohol become involved in any sexual act, things are bound to get messy and the way society and court acts towards it is extremely apparent in their disdain and lack of importance and priority. As we normalize the idea of drugging women and then taking advantage through music, paint sexual assault survivors as “careless party girls”, and completely ignore this as sexual misconduct, society is ignoring a huge pillar of consent.

When Lil Wayne says, “I gave her pills, she started confessing and started undressing” to which he then describes the sexual acts he and this woman pursue, he is plain and simple telling the story of rape. Even if you know your partner well and even may have had sex before, giving anyone drugs, even if they consensually take them, and then doing anything remotely intimate is breaking consent. Intoxicated individuals cannot consent to anything and to pursue anything sexual while you are sober and your partner isn’t is taking advantage and unlawful. However, this is constantly overlooked and instead replaced by the idea that this is somehow the victim’s fault, do to being too “wild” and “careless”.

During the trial of Brock Turner, the victim of his actions was under constant scrutiny for her intoxication, claiming that being drunk at a party, brought this on herself. As read in her letter to him, she stated, “To listen to your attorney attempt to paint a picture of me, the face of girls gone wild, as if somehow that would make it so that I had this coming for me”. Along with this was the various portrayals of her throughout the trial, she was painted as a “loose” and air headed party girl who could’ve avoided this if she had just stayed sober. But here’s the thing: when claiming this, it is following the idea of victim blaming or that it is the survivor’s fault for being sexual assaulted.

Overall, as we continue to display intoxicated women as “careless” and “have it coming”, along with discussing and enforcing normalization of drugging women and then having sexual interactions, we are creating a society and community of rape culture. A “no” is a no and a “yes” is only a yes if both partners have the ability to consent.

The Difficulty of Starting Something New

The Difficulty of Starting Something New

Photo by Willow Greene

Change is a complicated and daunting process. It can take a lifetime to finally reach the goal you have been pursuing, whether that is in relationships, a job, traveling, or figuring out who you are. Fear of disappointing people who care about you and fear of the future are road blocks that make arriving to your destination extra difficult.

I see Change as three steps: risk, perspective and control. When you take a risk, there is bound to be a change either in your character or in your life. After you take a risk, your perspective is what determines the change to be beneficial or detrimental. Once you decide the character of the change, you can take control of the change, and ultimately, your life. 

This summer I have learned that life is too short to not be picky. We have limited time here on earth, so why spend it in a constant gloom? I have had friends complain to me about their job, their dissatisfaction with their significant other, and their unhappiness with their college program. I think people often forget that they have control of their life. We become so comfortable in the position we are in that the thought of stepping out of our comfort zone seems menacing.

So, why is change so hard? Before I cracked through my timid shell and started embracing what the world has to offer, I stuck to what was familiar. Throughout high school I was afraid that, by changing who I was, I would disappoint the expectations of my family and friends, or, if I took a risk to chase after something new, I would fail and lose what I had before. But now, I do not understand how I lived a systematic life of doubt for so many years. If you are settling because you are afraid that nothing better will come along, that is just as unsatisfactory. 

Our generation has adopted a mindset where being selfish is not necessarily considered a terrible quality. We are learning that looking out for ourselves and treating ourselves is rewarding and addresses our needs that no other person can fulfill. In my first year of university I realized that if I wanted something done, I had to do it myself. In the real world people do not wait for you; they move on to somebody who is ready for a challenge. You have to chase opportunities because they will not idle by, anticipating your decision. 

By resisting change, you are preventing the growth of your mind. Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. was an American judge who said, “A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions.” I hold these words close to mind because they speak the truth. When I moved from a small farming community to the “big” city, I realized there is so much more to life than following tradition. The problem with us is that we are addicted to predictability. If we can see it coming, we can plan for it, which makes life easier for us. But when did easier become better?