Issue No. 11 - To See and Be Seen
Don't Owe It / Editorial by Zoe Allen
Don't Owe It / Editorial by Zoe Allen
He told me “it’s just something that guy’s talk about” when I asked him why he spread rumors about me sending him nudes.
He told me “I can’t look like the bad guy” when I asked him why he told people he had seen me naked.
He told me “I just wanted to be nice” when I asked him why he had lead me on for so long.
He told me to “stop being a psycho bitch” when I asked him why he was screwing over my best friend.
He told me “I only like you because you’re easy” when I asked him why he cared about me.
These phrases are all reasons why sexism and sex shaming still exist today. With each of these men, I had gone into the relationship thinking the world of them. With each of these men, I have left the relationship thinking the worst of them.
One demanded to see my chest and when I refused, he told everyone that he had seen it anyways, cementing my reputation as a “slut”.
He said to me “if you can see me shirtless, you owe it to me to be shirtless too.”
I do not know you and I do not owe you anything.
For the longest time, I thought I did owe them something. I had an easy reputation for a reason, and looking back on it, I am not proud of it in any way.
I have grown since then, becoming a girl knowing that she can do whatever she wants with her body, but does not owe anyone her body.
This Valentine’s day, I spent my time with the loves of my life: my team and myself. I swam in a five hour swim meet for my conference championships, spent the last fleeting hours with my team on the long bus ride home, and promptly got home and studied for my impending finals.
I do not need the approval of others to make me happy.
My insecurity was what drove me to seek the approval of boys.
And that, my friend, is not love.
It is physical attraction at best. Sometimes it is not even that--it is just an overwhelming desire to fill up an emptiness inside you. It is filled temporarily, and then I would wake up the next morning hating myself all over again.
Putting on a little black lacy pair of lingerie can only make you feel whole for so long. You can only wait so long until you take them off and change back into pajamas and remember who you actually are.
Throughout this entire cycle, I think I had legitimate feelings for only one of the boys. This boy did not require anything from me--it was unconditional. He was sweet, and absolutely normal--which was what made it so rare for me. Eventually, his feelings for me went away, but mine for him remain to this very day.
It’s egregiously ironic how I could get his entire school to fall for me, yet I could only get him to trip.
Two of his “friends” got jealous of how I felt about him and told him horrible lies. The day before they were together, he was telling me how much he felt for me. The day after, he was telling me how we needed to stay friends.
He can barely look me in the eye anymore. With every time he ignores me, I feel like he’s stepping on my heart. It just will not stop bleeding.
The Smith’s said it so beautifully: “I want the one that I can’t have, and it’s driving me mad.”
Actual feelings are so hard to come by and it seems like when I find them, it is never reciprocated.
In a world of sexting, drunk hookups, date rapes, and cat calling, true romance is a fragile, feathered thing. It is breakable, delicate, and will leave you in the blink of an eye. I have yet to find it--and I don’t think I am anywhere close.
An Interview with Ron Dadon
An Interview with Ron Dadon
Meet Ron Dadon, an Arizona based fashion photographer popularly known on Instagram as @ronathann. From editorial shoots, to portrait photography, Ron has collaborated with many companies and designers such as Brandy Melville USA, Freshtops, A'GACI, Shantiques Designs, Olloclip, and more. Read the interview to learn more about Ron's passion for photography and her journey unto the world of fashion and art.
TO START OFF, WHAT EQUIPMENT DO YOU USE? WOULD YOU RECOMMEND IT TO OTHER FELLOW PHOTOGRAPHERS?
I use a Canon 5D mk iii and a Sigma 35mm f/1.4 lens. YES 10/10 would recommend!
WHAT DIFFERENT MESSAGES/FEELINGS DO YOU HOPE TO PORTRAY WITH YOUR PHOTOS?
Sometimes I'll be inspired by a quote and I'll create a photograph that portrays the quote in some way. I love making people think when they look at my photographs, and I love playing with lighting because it helps create emotion within a still image.
Sometimes I'll be inspired by a quote and I'll create a photograph that portrays the quote in some way. I love making people think when they look at my photographs, and I love playing with lighting because it helps create emotion within a still image.
DO YOU HAVE ANY PARTICULAR LOCATIONS IN WHICH YOU PREFER SHOOTING?
I love shooting on rooftops and in fields during sunset, but I am starting to get into studio photography so hopefully I'll have a go-to studio soon as well.
DO YOU PREFER INDOOR OR OUTDOOR SHOOTS?
I'm more comfortable with outdoor shoots because that's what I started with. I've grown with my photography by doing outdoor shoots. Although, if a space is nicely lit and has interesting details to it I would absolutely shoot there, no questions asked!
WHO ARE SOME OF YOUR FAVORITE PHOTOGRAPHERS?
I am in love with Annie Leibovitz, Rosie Hardy, Julia Trotti, Jorden Keith, and way more that I (sadly) can't think of off the top of my head right now.
WHERE DO YOU FIND INSPIRATION FOR YOUR PHOTOS?
Quotes, music, lighting, location, clothes, faces, life.
HOW DO YOU DETERMINE WHICH SUBJECTS/MODELS TO UTILIZE WITHIN YOUR PHOTOGRAPHS?
Most of the time I choose the model first without a clue of how I want the shoot to look like and then I kinda just go out with my camera and wing it!
WHAT BRANDS AND COMPANIES HAVE YOU ENJOYED WORKING WITH THUS FAR?
Ahhhh I love every single company I've worked for, everyone is so sweet and supportive. I'm currently working with Brandy Melville USA, Freshtops, A'GACI, Shantiques Designs, Olloclip, and so many more. I love working with them all.
WHICH HAS BEEN YOUR FAVORITE SHOOT THAT YOU HAVE DONE THUS FAR?
I actually stared at my computer for so long trying to think of an answer to this question but it's absolutely impossible to choose!
WHAT IS YOUR DREAM EQUIPMENT?
What I own :-)
ALTHOUGH THE EQUIPMENT DOESN'T MAKE THE PHOTOGRAPHER, WHICH DO YOU FIND TO BE MORE IMPORTANT, A GOOD LENS OR A GOOD CAMERA?
A good lens on a less fancy camera will take you further than a fancy camera with a weak lense.
DESCRIBE SOME OF YOUR EDITING PROCESSES. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE PROGRAMS TO UTILIZE AND HOW DO YOU EDIT YOUR PHOTOS?
I use Photoshop CS6 and VSCOcam on my phone! I just play with Curves, tweak the colors, and adjust it until I like the way it looks.
IN YOUR OPINION, WHAT MAKES A 'GOOD' PHOTOGRAPH?
I like to think that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so there's not really one “right” or “good” way to make a photograph, it should appeal to the photographer themselves and then that factor makes it an incredible photograph.
DO YOU HOPE TO MAKE A CAREER OUT OF YOUR PHOTOGRAPHY?
That's the dream!
HOW HAS INSTAGRAM INFLUENCED YOUR CAREER/PASSION FOR PHOTOGRAPHY AND WHAT IMPACT HAS IT MADE ON YOUR LIFE THUS FAR?
I would not be where I am today without Instagram. I've met so many incredible people and have been offered so many incredible opportunities over the years that have shaped me into the person I am today.
DO YOU HAVE ANY LAST ADVICE FOR ASPIRING PHOTOGRAPHERS?
NEVER. GIVE. UP.
When people laugh and say that they don't get your vision, just laugh back at them because you're the one who will make it big someday. Meet as many people as you can, never say no to trying new things, always think outside the box, and always look to improve. BE BOLD. PUSH TO GET WHAT YOU WANT. Email the company you've always wanted to shoot for. What if they email back? The opportunities are endless, go find your inner artist.
See more of Ron on instagram.com/ronathann
Achieving Nirvana / Editorial by Zoe Allen
Achieving Nirvana / Editorial by Zoe Allen
“Come as you are, as you were, as I want you to be” is one of the most eminent song lyrics written by the legendary Nirvana frontman, Kurt Cobain. He sang it with his classic conviction and drawl, intentionally hooking listeners in with the thing he despised the most: the mold of society.
“...as I want you to be” is the phrase that catches listeners eyes out of one of the 90s grunge band’s most well known tunes, Come As You Are. Cobain took his own life in 1994, only a few years into the immortal success of the band. His suicide was sudden, but not surprising. The singer lulled about depression, madness, teenage angst, among other topics. The journals found after his death showed obvious signs of depression and substance abuse. His life was not one filled with joy, and he did not try to cover it up, but seeked refuge in his music. Despite his mental state, throughout his entire career, he did not attempt to be anything or anyone that he was not.
He embraced his quirky character with open arms and often was controversial and exciting, never afraid to make a statement or create a scene. His quirks were his character--his flaws made him who he was.
Cobain was adored by all who felt his presence. His ability to speak his mind and fight for his beliefs inspired a world of teenagers who felt oppressed by someone or something. His albums and his lyrics spoke volumes, but it wasn’t just his music that touched the hearts of millions, it was his attitude.
He neverendingly supported the rights of people less fortunate than him and embraced anything the world had to offer.
Come As You Are’s infamous lyrics are a complete contradiction throughout the entire 3:39 minute long song. At first, the person welcoming you as a friend appears open minded, but quickly and selfishly changes, trying to mold you into something preferable to them. Another interpretation of this song is that the narrator does not mind what the person does, as long as it satisfies them.
“(if you want) Come as you are, (or) as you were, (but please come) as I want you to be
As a friend, as a friend, (or at least) as an old enemy
(I’m not trying to pressure you) Take your time,
(or) Hurry up, (leaving them the chance to decide)
The choice is yours (but I would love a friend), don’t be late.
Take a rest as a friend
As an old memory.”
The song was written about “people and what they’re expected to act like,” said Cobain.
Interpretations aside, this piece was obviously a device to point out how ridiculous it is to ask someone to come as something they are not.
Cobain left an everlasting legacy that impacts and will continue to impact people over twenty years since his death. Not only is he remembered for his influence on the grunge scene in the nineties, a time where the genre was at it’s peak, but because of how he was able to embrace every single aspect of himself, and show people that it is okay to be who you are and show it off to the world.
Kurt Cobain was a man of countless notions and words. His dogmatic nature earned him the contempt of many but the hearts of many more. The originality and melodramatic atmosphere he brought upon the music scene in the nineties made him skyrocket to the halls of history, but he never forgot what he stood for and where he came from (Aberdeen, Washington). No writer ever purposely tries to sound cliché without valid reason, so here’s my bit: if you stand for nothing, you will fall for anything. Cobain may have seemed cynical, but on most of the arguments he so blatantly alleged for, he was correct. His hatred of homophobes was so forward, so rude, and so, so beautiful. In a fight against modern day oppression and opposition to civil rights, he never stopped battling, and he never changed his opinions, despite the cynicism.
Kurt may be well known for his band, or for his lyrics, or for his suicide, but to me, he should be remembered above all for how he never allowed himself to get lost in other people’s expectations.
The Nirvana singer was worshipped as a God to teens of all shapes and sizes from different backgrounds and cultures, even still today. Kurt Cobain’s legacy still exists, and his flame still burns, because as he so eloquently said in his suicide letter, quoting singer Neil Young, “it’s better to burn out than to fade away”.
Cobain may have taken his life, and while the mourning will be eternal, he sure as hell will never fade away.
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