Healthy Loving by Brindy Francis
As published in Mad Sounds Magazine Issue No. 13 - Love in Stereo
Healthy Loving
editorial by Brindy Francis
“Everybody’s gotta love someone, but I just want to love you,
dear.” - The Drums
I’ve asked a few people to describe their love life in one word.
Home
Enduring
Butterflies
Terrifying
Indifferent
Uplifted
Uncomfortable
Nonexistent
One may think “love” is just an emotion. It actually is
something that promotes emotion. Notice that not all of these
answers are positive. Most think love is something that makes
everyday easier; the belief that if you love, you’ll be jumping
for joy. Being “in love” in fantasized. Everybody craves
relationships. You can be in love and unhappy.
I’ve been in an unhealthy relationship. I fell in love with a
boy who was more sexually advanced than I was. He was also
emotionally draining. I was young and didn’t understand the
aspects of an “unhealthy” relationship. In fact, it was my first
relationship! I didn’t want to end what I thought could have
been the most important thing in the world. I thought that if
you are in love, it’s worth anything. Eventually, I got out. For
a good amount of time, I devoted myself to a boy who did not
deserve me. Hence, not always does love give off jubilant
feelings.
Love provokes many different emotions. You can be in love and
still feel extreme discomfort. You can love your ex-
boyfriend/girlfriend and still have no respect for him/her. You
can not make yourself stop loving someone. Love comes naturally.
It is not forced upon people and it can not be knocked out of
someone. You will experience all sorts of love as you keep
moving through life. You will experience love you regret,
admire, and all sorts of different emotions. Love is beautiful,
but only when it’s healthy.
It’s imperative to know the aspects of a healthy relationship
(romantic or not). You must know how to communicate. If you and
your partner are in a disagreement, try your best to understand
the other side and compromise from there. Love can be a tricky
thing; especially when when you have conflict in interest.
Really try to focus on the things you both love instead of that
of the opposite.
The number one thing I have learned from relationships is to
just spread as much love as you can, but be extremely careful.
The second you’re feeling uncomfortable or unhappy, don’t be
afraid to move on from this chapter in your life. The point of
being in a relationship is to share your aspirations and dreams
with someone you love. Never should you be committed to someone
and feel dejected at the same time. Always remember that the
most important person to commit to is yourself.
The healthiest love you can radiate is that toward yourself.
This February, I challenge you to buy yourself some chocolates-
relationship or not. Paint a picture and give it to yourself.
Call yourself beautiful. Read a book and have a conversation
with yourself about your favorite character. Give yourself the
most attention. Remember: the most important love is healthy
love.
