Insecurities of a Writer

Ever since I started writing I looked forward to the day that people took my work seriously. I wanted to be one of those super cool, incredibly talented girls online who write effortless poetry and have no problems sharing their feelings with the world. It’s so easy for young artists to feel insecure about their lack of experience, or even competitive with those who get more recognition than I do. I wondered if my work was any less valid because I didn’t get 5k notes.

I spent a lot of time feeling like I wasn’t a “real” writer; like I was fooling everyone into thinking I was something more than I actually was. Whenever a classmate would come up to me and compliment my writing I felt like I didn’t deserve to hear it. None of my friends who were artists seemed to feel the same way about their work. My best friends would show me their newest songs with a level of confidence I could never dream of having- like they already knew they would make it as musicians. Others post their art on Instagram nonchalantly, tagging their muses in their posts as if they wanted them to see it.

At the end of the day I have to remind myself that I don’t write to be noticed. I don’t hit the “publish” button in the hopes of getting the most reads I’ve ever had. I write because I love doing it (almost) more than I love pizza. Writing takes me to a place where I can distance myself from any problems I have and make sense of the world around me. I love going back to old pieces and seeing how much I’ve improved in as little as a couple of weeks and as long as two years. Even if I feel like I’m not the most amazing writer to ever walk the planet, when someone messages me or comes up to me and tells me that my writing has connected with them and made them feel less alone, made them reconsider an old opinion, or helped them find a new favorite band, I feel like all of the hard work and doubt was worth it.

So, if you’re anything like me, remember that a lack of recognition does not equate a lack of talent or a lack of hard work. Remember that the best reason to do anything is because you love to do it, not because it makes you look cool.