As I begin to talk about consent, I realize how hard it is to possibly cover everything that the verbal “yes” can mean, as there are so many bases it has become misconstrued in. Before writing this piece, I made a list for myself to refer back to of all the things consent is in fact, not, and how media tends to look the other way towards it and saw quite a large trend of one factor: intoxication. The instant drugs and/or alcohol become involved in any sexual act, things are bound to get messy and the way society and court acts towards it is extremely apparent in their disdain and lack of importance and priority. As we normalize the idea of drugging women and then taking advantage through music, paint sexual assault survivors as “careless party girls”, and completely ignore this as sexual misconduct, society is ignoring a huge pillar of consent.
When Lil Wayne says, “I gave her pills, she started confessing and started undressing” to which he then describes the sexual acts he and this woman pursue, he is plain and simple telling the story of rape. Even if you know your partner well and even may have had sex before, giving anyone drugs, even if they consensually take them, and then doing anything remotely intimate is breaking consent. Intoxicated individuals cannot consent to anything and to pursue anything sexual while you are sober and your partner isn’t is taking advantage and unlawful. However, this is constantly overlooked and instead replaced by the idea that this is somehow the victim’s fault, do to being too “wild” and “careless”.
During the trial of Brock Turner, the victim of his actions was under constant scrutiny for her intoxication, claiming that being drunk at a party, brought this on herself. As read in her letter to him, she stated, “To listen to your attorney attempt to paint a picture of me, the face of girls gone wild, as if somehow that would make it so that I had this coming for me”. Along with this was the various portrayals of her throughout the trial, she was painted as a “loose” and air headed party girl who could’ve avoided this if she had just stayed sober. But here’s the thing: when claiming this, it is following the idea of victim blaming or that it is the survivor’s fault for being sexual assaulted.
Overall, as we continue to display intoxicated women as “careless” and “have it coming”, along with discussing and enforcing normalization of drugging women and then having sexual interactions, we are creating a society and community of rape culture. A “no” is a no and a “yes” is only a yes if both partners have the ability to consent.
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